Elena Gilbert (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
braveandstupid) wrote2012-06-12 10:57 pm
braveandstupid) wrote2012-06-12 10:57 pm
Entry tags:
not canon } { tell me to appreciate, here and now
Elena is a vampire.
Stefan made her and Damon taught her.
It doesn’t make her hate them, but it’s enough for her to drive them away. She refuses to turn herself off, shut herself down, and she thinks that maybe she can stop herself from becoming a monster that way. She’s careful, she’s in control, and she fights for that control with everything she has. She’s a vampire, but she won’t become a beast. She won’t be like Stefan who holds it all in to unleash it on everyone else, and she won’t be like Damon who hates the world so much that she lets it destroy who she is.
She’s still Elena Gilbert.
She wakes up every morning and tells herself just that. She’s Elena Gilbert, and she won’t let the bloodlust that itches under her skin destroy her. She only drinks bagged blood, and having never drunk it live, she’s okay. She doesn’t know what the flow of blood feels like. She doesn’t know what it’s like to watch someone’s life drain from them, and she wants it to stay that way.
She’s so careful, because she can be. Because she knows that she can beat this if fights hard enough.
She’s not prepared for the grief.
The day she loses her best friend is the day everything changes. All she sees is Bonnie dropping in front of her, and the smoking gun in the other man’s hand. In that moment, the bloodlust doesn’t matter, the control doesn’t matter. This man killed her best friend, and he needed to pay for that.
He pays with his life, and that’s the night that Elena leaves Mystic Falls.
***
Elena is a monster.
She loses track of the years that pass, of the number of bodies she leaves in her wake. She cuts a swath of red as she makes her way across the country, and she doesn’t care what she leaves behind. All it takes was that first taste to ignite something inside her, and she can’t get enough of it.
(In some of her rare sober moments, she wonders if this is what it felt like for Stefan and Damon. That taste of warm blood, and the rush that it gives you, and how it becomes the most important thing when it’s the only thing you can feel.)
She’s squatting in a house outside Seattle. Technically, she killed the owner and is just enjoying the life he built for himself. It’s a simple enough life. She brings people home to sustain her, and gets rid of the bodies by setting them adrift down the river behind her house. It’s probably bad for the water supply, but she can’t really bring herself to care.
She doesn’t think she’s been attracting that much attention, but that thought changes when she wakes up one morning to the creek of floorboards. As far as she’s concerned, it’s the last mistake they’ll make. The veins under her eyes fill, and she stealthily makes her way through the house. She’s lived there long enough that she knows all the creaks and moans in every inch of the place. She glides down the stairs, grabbing the intruder by the back of the neck. The battle becomes a blur of super speed and the two of them slamming into walls, but eventually he gets her pinned against a wall, and she can finally get a good look at him.
Gold eyes. She expects the dark blood red of a vampire, but his eyes are gold, his canines expanding like that of a wolf. There’s only one person she knew with eyes like that.
“Tyler?”
“Hey, Elena.” There’s a small prick in her side, and a look of confusion crossed her face. “Sorry.”
It doesn’t take long for her to succumb to the vervain and pass out in his arms.
***
Tyler is a hybrid.
Elena isn’t sure what the difference is between them and vampires beyond the obvious. No weakness to vervain, no weakness for the sun. When Elena comes to, she’s locked in a dark room and her enchanted bracelet that allows her to walk in the sun is gone. The rage surges through her, and when she spots Tyler sitting on the other end of the room, she fixes him with a glare that’s much more predatory than the last time he saw her.
“Give it back.”
“Not until you chill out.”
“Tyler, give it back.”
She charges against the room, but once again Tyler pins her to the wall, one hand on her wrist, and the other hand on her waist. “You stop piling up bodies, you get your day walking power back.”
“That wasn’t yours to take.”
“Too bad.”
“You son of a bitch, I will rip your heart out.”
“No, you won’t,” he whispers. “But you’ll forgive me for this later.”
His hands move, faster then she can comprehend, there’s a snap!, and everything goes dark again.
When she comes to again, it’s not much later, but she’s starting to get hungry. Tyler is gone and she feels drained, lazy. She doesn’t know how long it’s been since she last ate. She rolls slowly into a sitting position, before moving forward and banging lightly against the door.
“Tyler? I need blood.”
It’s a while before she gets a response, but part of the door slides open below her, and a blood bag comes through on a tray. She rolls her eyes.
“A doggie door? Really?”
“I didn’t want to have to break your neck again.”
Something in her stiffens at that, and she slowly drops down against the door. With her head cleared a bit from the blood haze she’s been living in, she knows that Tyler did the right thing. It still doesn’t make it any easier to not have the bracelet on her wrist.
She sinks down against the door. “Don’t lose it.”
“The bracelet?” She hears as his voice adjusts to her level. “Couldn’t you just get a witch to make another one?”
Elena’s quiet for a long moment, sipping at the cold blood and trying not to make a face at the way it goes down. “It’s not the bracelet. It’s who made it.”
He’s quiet for a long time, and she hears the thunk! of his head against the door. “Don’t worry. It’s safe.”
“Good.”
***
“She wouldn’t have wanted you to be like this, you know.”
It’s two months after he found her, and he comes down to talk to her every day. She’s not sure why he’s still with her, why he hasn’t let her go or handed her off to Stefan or Damon, or someone else, but he’s here, and she’s grateful.
“I know.” She remembers how much Bonnie hated vampires and the monsters they became, but Elena couldn’t help herself. Maybe for all the struggle she has, there’s still something inside her that wants to be the monster. “It doesn’t seem to matter if she’s not here.”
“She’s not the only one who cares about you, Elena.”
She closes her eyes at that, her head resting against the door. “Why are you here, Tyler? Why are you doing this for me?”
“Because you would have done it for me.”
“How do you know?”
“I know you.”
She pauses again, taking another sip of the cold blood and swallows hard. “When are you going to let me out?”
“When you’re ready.” She opens her mouth to say something else, and he cuts her off before she has the chance. “You will be.”
***
Above all else, Elena loves.
It’s at the root of everything she does, the motivation for every move she makes. She loves, and she cares, and when it comes to Tyler, things are no different. She’s always cared about him, always tried to help him, but when he needed her, she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t help him. She’s the reason he’s a hybrid, she’s the reason he went through everything, and in her moment of need, he turns around and saves her.
He always turns around and saves her.
Tyler Lockwood deserves a lot better than Elena Gilbert.
When he finally lets her own, and her daylight bracelet is secured on her wrist again, she stays for a little while. Elena is notorious for having things she doesn’t deserve, but this is the first time it’s been more instead of less.
In the end, they’re still just friends. The moment it starts to tip into something more, she quietly says goodbye, and lets herself out. As she said, Tyler deserves a lot better than Elena Gilbert.
But for a little while, it is nice to have something good.
1451 words
Stefan made her and Damon taught her.
It doesn’t make her hate them, but it’s enough for her to drive them away. She refuses to turn herself off, shut herself down, and she thinks that maybe she can stop herself from becoming a monster that way. She’s careful, she’s in control, and she fights for that control with everything she has. She’s a vampire, but she won’t become a beast. She won’t be like Stefan who holds it all in to unleash it on everyone else, and she won’t be like Damon who hates the world so much that she lets it destroy who she is.
She’s still Elena Gilbert.
She wakes up every morning and tells herself just that. She’s Elena Gilbert, and she won’t let the bloodlust that itches under her skin destroy her. She only drinks bagged blood, and having never drunk it live, she’s okay. She doesn’t know what the flow of blood feels like. She doesn’t know what it’s like to watch someone’s life drain from them, and she wants it to stay that way.
She’s so careful, because she can be. Because she knows that she can beat this if fights hard enough.
She’s not prepared for the grief.
The day she loses her best friend is the day everything changes. All she sees is Bonnie dropping in front of her, and the smoking gun in the other man’s hand. In that moment, the bloodlust doesn’t matter, the control doesn’t matter. This man killed her best friend, and he needed to pay for that.
He pays with his life, and that’s the night that Elena leaves Mystic Falls.
***
Elena is a monster.
She loses track of the years that pass, of the number of bodies she leaves in her wake. She cuts a swath of red as she makes her way across the country, and she doesn’t care what she leaves behind. All it takes was that first taste to ignite something inside her, and she can’t get enough of it.
(In some of her rare sober moments, she wonders if this is what it felt like for Stefan and Damon. That taste of warm blood, and the rush that it gives you, and how it becomes the most important thing when it’s the only thing you can feel.)
She’s squatting in a house outside Seattle. Technically, she killed the owner and is just enjoying the life he built for himself. It’s a simple enough life. She brings people home to sustain her, and gets rid of the bodies by setting them adrift down the river behind her house. It’s probably bad for the water supply, but she can’t really bring herself to care.
She doesn’t think she’s been attracting that much attention, but that thought changes when she wakes up one morning to the creek of floorboards. As far as she’s concerned, it’s the last mistake they’ll make. The veins under her eyes fill, and she stealthily makes her way through the house. She’s lived there long enough that she knows all the creaks and moans in every inch of the place. She glides down the stairs, grabbing the intruder by the back of the neck. The battle becomes a blur of super speed and the two of them slamming into walls, but eventually he gets her pinned against a wall, and she can finally get a good look at him.
Gold eyes. She expects the dark blood red of a vampire, but his eyes are gold, his canines expanding like that of a wolf. There’s only one person she knew with eyes like that.
“Tyler?”
“Hey, Elena.” There’s a small prick in her side, and a look of confusion crossed her face. “Sorry.”
It doesn’t take long for her to succumb to the vervain and pass out in his arms.
***
Tyler is a hybrid.
Elena isn’t sure what the difference is between them and vampires beyond the obvious. No weakness to vervain, no weakness for the sun. When Elena comes to, she’s locked in a dark room and her enchanted bracelet that allows her to walk in the sun is gone. The rage surges through her, and when she spots Tyler sitting on the other end of the room, she fixes him with a glare that’s much more predatory than the last time he saw her.
“Give it back.”
“Not until you chill out.”
“Tyler, give it back.”
She charges against the room, but once again Tyler pins her to the wall, one hand on her wrist, and the other hand on her waist. “You stop piling up bodies, you get your day walking power back.”
“That wasn’t yours to take.”
“Too bad.”
“You son of a bitch, I will rip your heart out.”
“No, you won’t,” he whispers. “But you’ll forgive me for this later.”
His hands move, faster then she can comprehend, there’s a snap!, and everything goes dark again.
When she comes to again, it’s not much later, but she’s starting to get hungry. Tyler is gone and she feels drained, lazy. She doesn’t know how long it’s been since she last ate. She rolls slowly into a sitting position, before moving forward and banging lightly against the door.
“Tyler? I need blood.”
It’s a while before she gets a response, but part of the door slides open below her, and a blood bag comes through on a tray. She rolls her eyes.
“A doggie door? Really?”
“I didn’t want to have to break your neck again.”
Something in her stiffens at that, and she slowly drops down against the door. With her head cleared a bit from the blood haze she’s been living in, she knows that Tyler did the right thing. It still doesn’t make it any easier to not have the bracelet on her wrist.
She sinks down against the door. “Don’t lose it.”
“The bracelet?” She hears as his voice adjusts to her level. “Couldn’t you just get a witch to make another one?”
Elena’s quiet for a long moment, sipping at the cold blood and trying not to make a face at the way it goes down. “It’s not the bracelet. It’s who made it.”
He’s quiet for a long time, and she hears the thunk! of his head against the door. “Don’t worry. It’s safe.”
“Good.”
***
“She wouldn’t have wanted you to be like this, you know.”
It’s two months after he found her, and he comes down to talk to her every day. She’s not sure why he’s still with her, why he hasn’t let her go or handed her off to Stefan or Damon, or someone else, but he’s here, and she’s grateful.
“I know.” She remembers how much Bonnie hated vampires and the monsters they became, but Elena couldn’t help herself. Maybe for all the struggle she has, there’s still something inside her that wants to be the monster. “It doesn’t seem to matter if she’s not here.”
“She’s not the only one who cares about you, Elena.”
She closes her eyes at that, her head resting against the door. “Why are you here, Tyler? Why are you doing this for me?”
“Because you would have done it for me.”
“How do you know?”
“I know you.”
She pauses again, taking another sip of the cold blood and swallows hard. “When are you going to let me out?”
“When you’re ready.” She opens her mouth to say something else, and he cuts her off before she has the chance. “You will be.”
***
Above all else, Elena loves.
It’s at the root of everything she does, the motivation for every move she makes. She loves, and she cares, and when it comes to Tyler, things are no different. She’s always cared about him, always tried to help him, but when he needed her, she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t help him. She’s the reason he’s a hybrid, she’s the reason he went through everything, and in her moment of need, he turns around and saves her.
He always turns around and saves her.
Tyler Lockwood deserves a lot better than Elena Gilbert.
When he finally lets her own, and her daylight bracelet is secured on her wrist again, she stays for a little while. Elena is notorious for having things she doesn’t deserve, but this is the first time it’s been more instead of less.
In the end, they’re still just friends. The moment it starts to tip into something more, she quietly says goodbye, and lets herself out. As she said, Tyler deserves a lot better than Elena Gilbert.
But for a little while, it is nice to have something good.
1451 words